Do you expect to get hurt in life? I do. I certainly don’t ask for it, but I know that pain is unavoidable in this fallen world.
The same is true for you. Everyone gets wronged and offended by others. There’s no way around it.
That much is obvious. But I want to challenge you to consider another observation that may not be quite so easy to accept: The outcome of our lives is not determined by what happens to us but by how we respond to what happens to us.
Of course, we will be affected by the circumstances that form the backdrop of our lives. They will carve grooves into our hearts that will always be part of our experience. But those circumstances, horrendous as they may be, do not have the power to control the outcome of our lives.
As long as we believe that our happiness and well-being are determined by what happens to us, we will always be victims, because so much of what happens to us is beyond our control. Our only hope lies in realizing that we do have a choice about how we respond to life’s circumstances—and it is those responses that determine the outcome of our lives.
To whatever extent you may have been imprisoned by your response to wounds inflicted on you by others, I assure you that embracing this truth is the starting place in your journey to freedom. When we as God’s children realize that His grace is sufficient for every situation, that by the power of His indwelling Spirit we have the ability to respond with grace and forgiveness to those who have sinned against us—at that point we are no longer victims.
There are essentially two ways of responding to life’s hurts and unfair experiences. The first and natural response is to become a debt collector. We set out to make the offender pay for what he has done. This is the pathway of resentment and retaliation—getting even, exacting payment for what they did. But the problem is that being a debt collector does more than keep our offender in debtors’ prison; it puts us in prison.
But there is another way.
As an alternative to being debt collectors-the pathway of resentment and retaliation—God calls us to the pure, powerful choice of forgiveness—and to pursue, wherever possible, the pathway of restoration and reconciliation.
Actually, this is not presented in Scripture as an option. “As the Lord has forgiven you,” Paul writes in Colossians 3:13, “so you also must forgive” (ESV).
The Lord Himself was equally clear and direct: “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him” (Mark 11:25 NKJV). “Anything against anyone.” No offense is too great, no offender is beyond the boundary to which our forgiveness must extend. Our fellowship with God requires it and depends on it.
I realize that this journey into forgiveness may require you to delve into areas of your life that are sensitive and still hot to the touch. But I am also aware that our natural way of handling these hurts only results in keeping them sore and inflamed. Will you choose to forgive?